Take Your Pleasure
To TAKE YOUR PLEASURE is to own something that is already yours.
In this context of taking our pleasure, we are taking action for our own benefit.
Now, in the society we live in, it is common for us, especially as women, to believe that if we TAKE we are hurting someone else. We see many, many examples of people who take from others and then receive no punishment for their crime.
This is evident in cases of rape, where the victim is blamed and shamed. Then the rapist, Brock Turner, even when convicted, is only sentenced to 6 months in jail and then gets out in 3. This is evident in the political climate where men legislate against women's bodies, despite overwhelming public support for funding to organizations like Planned Parenthood or domestic and sexual assault services across the country. This is evident when Donald Trump, a career business man, never before elected to public office, can spew forth rhetoric of misogyny, racism, ableism, and hate and still be elected to the White House.
It is no wonder that many of us believe that taking is bad. Because we see such egregious violations in our world that go unpunished or even rewarded.
To clarify, again, TAKING OUR PLEASURE is taking what is rightfully ours. We deserve pleasure. We deserve happiness. We deserve love and belonging (because we are in fact hardwired for it). So, it is our right and our place to TAKE what has always been ours to begin with.
Here are some examples of what I mean by TAKE:
Great ways to practice TAKING:
1. In a restaurant or at a coffee shop, try out simply telling the staff person what you want instead of asking permission to have the thing that you want. This is a great place to practice advocating for yourself because this environment is set up for you to do so. And, if your order does not come to you the way you want it, advocate for getting what you want. Listen to the recording for more details.
2. Take Yourself out on a Date. Do exactly what you want, as extravagant or luxurious as you desire. Only do the things that feel good to you. Try on 20 different pairs of shoes and purchase none of them. Go see a movie and eat all the popcorn. Take that drive or hike you've been meaning to for the last 3 months. Masturbate and let yourself make big noises. Fill the space of your own room or home with your voice of pleasure. TAKE UP SPACE!
3. Go on 10 first dates with no intention to call any of them back for a second. Simply go out, meet people, and then walk away because you don't owe them anything. Let yourself have the space to try something on, choose whether you really, really like it and want it and will take it into you and enjoy it. And if not, let it go.
In this context of taking our pleasure, we are taking action for our own benefit.
Now, in the society we live in, it is common for us, especially as women, to believe that if we TAKE we are hurting someone else. We see many, many examples of people who take from others and then receive no punishment for their crime.
This is evident in cases of rape, where the victim is blamed and shamed. Then the rapist, Brock Turner, even when convicted, is only sentenced to 6 months in jail and then gets out in 3. This is evident in the political climate where men legislate against women's bodies, despite overwhelming public support for funding to organizations like Planned Parenthood or domestic and sexual assault services across the country. This is evident when Donald Trump, a career business man, never before elected to public office, can spew forth rhetoric of misogyny, racism, ableism, and hate and still be elected to the White House.
It is no wonder that many of us believe that taking is bad. Because we see such egregious violations in our world that go unpunished or even rewarded.
To clarify, again, TAKING OUR PLEASURE is taking what is rightfully ours. We deserve pleasure. We deserve happiness. We deserve love and belonging (because we are in fact hardwired for it). So, it is our right and our place to TAKE what has always been ours to begin with.
Here are some examples of what I mean by TAKE:
- I take my coffee with cream and sugar.
- I take my steak medium rare.
- I take out my vibrator when I want to stimulate my clitoris.
- I use the lube that works best for my body.
- I tell my partner I want sex when I want sex.
- I slow down, pause, or speed up during my own masturbation or during sex in ways that please me.
- I tell my partner to slow down or pause or stop when I need a moment to catch my breath, adjust my position, change direction of movement, or advocate for something new.
Great ways to practice TAKING:
1. In a restaurant or at a coffee shop, try out simply telling the staff person what you want instead of asking permission to have the thing that you want. This is a great place to practice advocating for yourself because this environment is set up for you to do so. And, if your order does not come to you the way you want it, advocate for getting what you want. Listen to the recording for more details.
2. Take Yourself out on a Date. Do exactly what you want, as extravagant or luxurious as you desire. Only do the things that feel good to you. Try on 20 different pairs of shoes and purchase none of them. Go see a movie and eat all the popcorn. Take that drive or hike you've been meaning to for the last 3 months. Masturbate and let yourself make big noises. Fill the space of your own room or home with your voice of pleasure. TAKE UP SPACE!
3. Go on 10 first dates with no intention to call any of them back for a second. Simply go out, meet people, and then walk away because you don't owe them anything. Let yourself have the space to try something on, choose whether you really, really like it and want it and will take it into you and enjoy it. And if not, let it go.
| Mindful Masturbation Play Book |
My Favorite Sex Toys
NJOY Wand: http://www.njoytoys.com/products/funwand.php
Magic Wand Rechargeable: https://hitachimagic.com/hitachi-magic-wand/magic-wand-rechargeable/
VixSkin Dildos: https://vixen-creations.myshopify.com/collections/vixskin
Magic Wand Rechargeable: https://hitachimagic.com/hitachi-magic-wand/magic-wand-rechargeable/
VixSkin Dildos: https://vixen-creations.myshopify.com/collections/vixskin
paddles, floggers, and rope @ Desire Studio
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brilliant selection of silicone
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NJoy wand, butt plug, anal hook, Wartenburg wheel
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Final Call Recording, Fall 2016